Someday

Someday

Someday, I would like to stop blaming you,

for every trigger that sets me off, crippling my body time and time again, pinning me to the ground until I must find the strength to get back on my feet again.

Someday, I would like to stop cursing your name

 for every fear you put inside my mind that holds me back from being the one whom I was meant to be,

even though I do not know its origins from which it came.

Someday, I want to stop hating you; each time, my mind recovers a memory buried deep within a haze until I am strong enough to face what was done so many years ago.

Someday, I plan to stop using the life you put me through as an excuse for why I am so afraid to believe in my potential and the possibility of my accomplishments that I have yet to achieve.

Someday, I would love to learn to love and forgive myself for loving you and worshiping the one with whom I thought you were. Despite my knowledge that, deep down inside, I always knew you were incapable of loving me, and the one with whom I thought you were nothing more than just a web of lies.

Someday, I would love to permit myself to leave behind the path I was never meant to travel but was forced to walk along its way. Instead, I will give myself the freedom to live a life shaped primarily for myself so that I may end up in the place I

Wass meant to be.

Someday, I would love to wonder no longer what my life could have been had you never crossed my path and had you never been given so much power and control over my life.

Someday, I wish I could stop hating you,

for the person that you are,

all the pain that you have caused me

and the scars that remain to tell my story.

Someday, I hope I can forgive you,

Even though I know,

I will never speak to you again.